Imagine.....the first time you touch your 520 gram baby he grabs your finger so hard his knuckles turn white and you take it as his way of saying "Calm down, daddy, everything is going to be fine!"

Imagine.....being able to see through all the tubes, wires, leads, bandages and tape to see the most beautiful thing your eyes have ever seen.

Imagine.....having the most incredible support group amongst friends, family, church members and total strangers that makes your 96 day NICU stay as bearable as possible.

Imagine.....over 100 medical professionals all working together, making all the right decisions, comforting you when needed, taking such wonderful care of your child that he has grown into a healthy 17 pound, 14 month old bundle of joy.

Imagine.....your child being strong enough to survive, strong enough to be happy and playful and strong enough to completely take over your life and your heart.

Imagine.....having a wife who is willing to work full-time and make the sacrifice to do so that I am able to stay home and care for this wonderful child because it is the best thing for her family.

Imagine..... this whole experience being so life altering that you now spend many hours at the NICU volunteering to make life a little easier on the parents and babies currently there.

Imagine.....because of your child's stay in the NICU, choosing a new career path with the hopes of one day working with ex-preemies as they develop towards toddlerhood.

I often try to imagine my life before Harrison was born, or what my life would be like had Harrison not made it and I can't do it. I am just very thankful that we were so incredibly lucky that I cannot "imagine" anything but positives about my son and his life so far.

Imagine...Becoming pregnant for the second time knowing the first one ended in a miscarriage.

Imagine...losing her own mom three months before she gets pregnant again and realizing she won't be there to help her through the rough times of parenting, or worse, not be there to enjoy the great times of parenting.

Imagine...the doctor telling her the due date and realizing it is the first anniversary of her mom's death.

Imagine...just starting to feel the baby move when she wakes up one morning, at 23 weeks gestation, feeling sick and her husband makes her go in to see the doctor only because it gives him a good reason to call in sick.

Imagine...the look on the doctor's face as she leaves the room after the initial check over and her husband saying "that didn't look good"

Imagine...her doctor coming back in and saying that we have to go straight to the hospital and get her admitted ASAP and not seeing the outside world for three weeks, even though she would have given anything to stay on bedrest for the full remaining 17 weeks.

Imagine...her being on bedrest for two weeks worrying about her health and that of her unborn child.

Imagine...being alone when the doctor comes and says that after two weeks of bedrest the baby has not grown and needs to be delivered tonight.

Imagine...her being prepped and put under to have an emergency c-section, not knowing if she will ever wake up, and if she does, whether she will be a mother of a child or the mother of a stillborn.

Imagine...waking up to see her husband's face telling her she is the mother of a beautiful baby boy, only to not remember it because of all the drugs.

Imagine...being wheeled into to see her son for the first time, to watch him be baptized because she doesn't know if he will make it, and to see her son raise his eyes brows the first time he hears her voice and that being the only thing she remembers from that night.

Imagine...her spending the next three days so sick it takes all her energy just to get into a wheel chair so she can see her new son.

Imagine...the easiest way for her to see her son is to watch the video that dad continuously is shooting.

Imagine...spending the next week afraid to bond with this beautiful child because she doesn't think she can stand to lose someone else so close to her.

Imagine...being hooked up to a breast pump for the next three months in order to give her son the best chance of survival only to have the supply disappear when the time finally comes when she can actually start breastfeeding.

Imagine...her sacrificing her desires to stay home and raise her son because the best thing for her family is for her to work full-time and have daddy stay home and take care of her son.

Imagine...having to start work again and leaving that first morning with her son in her husband's arms when she wants so badly for those to be her arms he's in.

Imagine...her helping so much to make daddy's day that much easier by feeding her son dinner when she gets home, by giving her son baths at night even when she is so tired, by feeding him breakfast every day she can so daddy can sleep in a little.

Imagine...all the sacrifices she has made since the day she became pregnant, big ones and small ones, all pay off when this beautiful boy starts to smile and laugh when he sees her return home from work.

Imagine...the gratitude her husband feels for all these sacrifices she has made.

Imagine...the lovely life she has provided for her husband and son by making these sacrifices.

Take care,
Timothy, eternally happy SAHD to Harrison, ex 25 wker now almost 15 months old.