Imagine losing a twin, and then being asked to fill in papers stating what you want to do with the remains of the surviving twin,
should he be delivered over the weekend when the social worker is away, when all you want to do is hope that the survivor will
be okay.
Imagine the first day you can hold your son, and needing the nurse to move him from the isolette to your waiting arms and to
position the respirator tube so that he is as comfortable as he can be.
Imagine losing sleep because of the wonderful, heady feeling of exhilaration because your son was off the ventilator, only to
have that feeling yanked away from you in the morning when they are re-intubating your son as you walk on the floor.
Imagine knowing that you will never have a baby that you can take home with you when you are discharged from the hospital
after childbirth.
Imagine creating adorable little outfits that would fit a doll, so that your child would look like a human being.
Imagine watching your newfound friend's baby die in front of your eyes, and feeling guilty because you still have your baby
while she doesn't have hers.
Imagine dealing with this guilt of still having your baby after a friend lost hers, while you are still grieving for your baby's lost
twin.
Imagine having the hope that your baby will be home for the holiday, and arriving at the hospital to hear that he has to have
another 18-day course of steroids because his lungs are "juicy", which delays his homecoming beyond that holiday.
Imagine living a miracle that the doctors said was remotely possible, but not probable, delivering a twin 7 weeks after the first
one's birth/death.
Imagine the feeling of having a resident and 2 nurses care so much about you that they want to be paged to your son's birth,
and that they continued to follow your son's health for the 90 days that he was in the NICU.
Imagine the joy of watching your child have an easier winter than the last, no Respigam IV treatments, no regular nebulizer
treatments, and only 3 trips to the pediatrician the whole winter!!
Hugs, Visit our website:
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Woods/6578/index.html
Laura in Vermont
Mom to Mark, 28 weeker now 2, twin to our Angel, Michelle, born/died at 21 weeks 8/15/96;
Also Mom to Paige, 33
weeker now 8;
Becca, FT espohageal atresia surgery now 10;
step mom to Tina, 16 and Jason, 12.
