Imagines...

Imagine getting an unltrasound to determine your baby's sex and you find out the bag of waters have crossed your cervix

Imagine being rushed from your original hospital to a Level I nursery so that when you baby arrives he may be given a chance at survival

Imagine not being able to see your baby until he is 3 days old because you are allergic to the pain medicine and having debilitating migraines

Imagine on the first day that you see your baby being told that your baby is not likely to make it

Imagine starting to believe what the doctors are saying

Imagine your baby's tummy distending every time he eats

Imagine the nurses telling you they are holding his feeds again

Imagine your baby's tummy stretching to the largest possible size on his 2 lb body and being rushed to Children's Hopital for an emergency NEC surgery that they don't think he'll pull through

Imagine seeing fear in his eyes before the surgery

Imagine seeing him not recover after the surgery

Imagine the surgeons telling you that thet need to "go back in" after 5 days

Imagine the surgeon telling you the second surgery went great and that he will be out for a while and walking into his room and he is wide awake

Imagine you baby starting to pick up grams for 5 days in a row for the first time in his life

Imagine your baby extubating himself for the second time and not having to be reintubated immediately after

Imagine your baby being transferred back to his birth hospital so that he can get TLC and just grow and go home

Imagine your baby no longer needing a nasal cannula

Imagine your baby getting a triple bacterial infection from his central line and having to be reintubated a week later and the doctors again think he won't make it

Imagine having to call your husband who is on his way to Canada on business and telling him this

Imagine having an 8 year old daughter who is not allowed to see her baby brother who has been in the hospital for 124 days

Imagine the nurse sneaking her in for a peek

Imagine your baby recovering from the bacterial infection and his respiratory system and BPD acts up and he has more A's and B's than ever

Imagine your baby's respiratory system gets better after albuterol treatments

Imagine your baby getting up to 4 lbs for the first time in his life

Imagine your baby taking down a bottle of breastmilk like a champ

Imagine being told it's just a matter of gaining a little more

Imagine your baby starts to lose weight and goes back down to 3lb 10oz

Imagine your tiny baby is developmentally ready to move to the "big boy crib"

Imagine the doctors "hold his feeds" for the 100th time in 4 months

Imagine no more TPN and lipids, now InfaLyte and another dreaded IV bag

Imagine the doctors having to reevaluate your baby for intestinal reconnect surgery

Imagine all the scalp IVs, antibiotics, pain medicine, ultrasounds, xrays, central line screwups, fortifier allergies, ups, downs, trials and tribulations and you still manage to see that beautiful smile

Imagine all the other babies he has ever roomed with got to go home with their parents by now

Imagine knowing that this baby who the doctors thought wouldn't make it at 24 4/7 weeks is still fighting

Imagine this tiny baby taking over the nursery and demanding to be held while he listens to classical music like an art connoisseur

Imagine your baby being transferred back to the Children's Hospital because he lost 4oz in the past 3 days and only weighs 3lbs 10oz at 17 weeks (2 weeks corrected)...

Imagine after a 124 day stay in the NICU you are told your baby will probably be in there for the next 3 to 4 weeks to get fattened up so that they can reconnect his intestines which were surgically detached due to NEC surgery....and then stay more time for recovery after the surgery...

Imagine seeing your baby sitting up in a car seat in his "big boy" hospital crib and holding his pacifier in his mouth and not being able to take him home with you....

Just Imagine...

Kelly