Imagines...

Imagine having a ruptured appendix at 10 years of age which damaged your fallopian tubes to the point of no return.

Imagine trying to conceive at age 27 for a year and having no success.

Imagine enduring daily fertility shots to prepare your body for a $12,000

IVF cycle. Imagine having 15 beautiful embryos to choose from.

Imagine having two transferred back into your uterus with a catheter.

Imagine the joy of finding out you are having twins and your family will be

complete in one fell swoop. Imagine having an uneventful twin pregnancy for 14 weeks.

Imagine having your water break on one of your twins at 14 weeks and 3 days.

Imagine the fear.

Imagine carrying both babies for another 49 days.

Imagine going into labor at 21 weeks and 3 days with contractions so painful you are gripping the handlebar of the car door as your husband races to the hospital.

Imagine giving birth to a beautiful baby boy who will not live.

Imagine the amazing team of doctors who cut his cord at your cervix, performed an emergency cerclage and administered massive doses of magnesium sulfate, indomethacin and nitro glycerin all in the hopes of keeping your remaining twin inside you until he can be born safely.

Imagine being sent home from the hospital seven days later and not knowing whether you would even make it to viability with your surviving baby.

Imagine wondering every day if this would be the last day you would be pregnant.

Imagine crossing that beautiful 28-week milestone and celebrating with takeout Chinese dinner with friends while you stayed flat on the couch, your 97th day on bedrest.

Imagine checking into the hospital on your 100th day of bedrest because you are contracting every 12 minutes.

Imagine your cervix shortening to 1 cm and wondering if you can possibly hold out to 32 weeks, but knowing in your heart that you will deliver today since the magnesium sulfate simply isn't working.

Imagine your doctor reviewing the results of your amniocentesis and telling you, "It's time," because the precious fluid shows an increased white blood cell count and the only cure for infection is delivery.

Imagine the fear of being wheeled into labor and delivery at only 29 weeks.

Imagine your relief when the perinatologist on call comes into your room and says excitedly, "29 weeks! That's great!"

Imagine praying during your entire labor because you have no idea if your baby will fall into the 10% of 29-weekers who don't survive or who have severe long term handicaps.

Imagine bawling when you hear the kitten-like cries when he is born because you are so, so happy that he is alive.

Imagine not noticing the smallness of your three pound baby, the redness of his face or all the tubes and IVs in him when you first see him in the NICU three hours later, because you are just so thrilled that he is stable and not on a ventilator.

Imagine the tears when the nurses put his isolette next to twins.

Imagine a good friend calling to congratulate you and joking that delivering a three-pound baby must have just been like being constipated and then having a big bowel movement.

Imagine having no clue as to how to respond to such a comment so you just laughed.

Imagine seeing your three pound baby undergo surgery for a PDA ligation when he is only eight days old.

Imagine being excited when your child graduates to the next level of preemie diapers and finally is gaining weight steadily after 23 days of vascillating at his birth weight.

Imagine being grateful that your only concern is his tiny size and the fact that he desats like the dickens when you see a baby live for 24 days and no more.

Imagine having your baby tested for infection five times during his hospital stay.

Imagine the sigh of relief when each one came back negative.

Imagine finally getting to dress him in clothes for the first time when he was nearly four weeks old.

Imagine a friend saying you are lucky that you never had the discomfort of a third trimester.

Imagine the utter disbelief on her face when you explain preemies aren't just small and that babies born early can die.

Imagine visiting your baby at the hospital for the first 55 days of his life and finally taking him home on the 56th day and getting to keep him for good.

Imagine never taking a thing for granted.

--Daisy, mom to 29-weeker Walker, a surviving twin