Imagine 2 1/2 weeks later feeling crampy and dismissing it as "growing pains" and the following morning you start to bleed but still not too concerned as you've read that some spotting is normal. (denial?)

Imagine your fiance insisting that you go to the doctors "just in case" and apon arrival, finding that you are already 4 cm dialated and in labor!

Imagine you and your unborn baby's helicopter ride to a Level III hospital, lying practically upside down, in shock and disbelieving that this is really happening to YOU.

Imagine 3 days of lying in the high risk labor & delivery room, filled up with mag. sulfate to try and stop the contractions, being told that you need to carry this baby to at the very least 23 weeks for ANY hope of survival. At exactly 23 weeks and the day after Easter, you give birth to the tiniest (1 lb 7 oz) baby boy you have ever seen, after only 5 minutes and 2 pushes. The whole time feeling as if in a dream and terribly disconnected from the experience.

Imagine calling your mother the night of your son's birth and being told that she doesn't want to wake your father and that MAYBE she'll come down the next day, but really doesn't want to miss work. Imagine your heart breaking!!

Imagine seeing your son a few hours after his birth and KNOWING that everything's going to be O.K., even though the doctors tell you all that could go wrong.

Imagine spending the next 3 1/2 months living at the hospital to be close to your baby, watching him grow before your very eyes, and seeing him beat all the odds!

Imagine finally taking him home 2 weeks before his due date without O2 and weighing in at 8 lbs!!

Imagine after 2 weeks of having him home, watching him fight to breathe and needing to be rehospitalized.

Imagine finding out that your son needs supplemental oxygen after all, and being RELIEVED to hear it! At least he will not have fight so hard now.

Imagine writing this from the hospital, and being so happy to hear that he will be discharged in the next few days!

Imagine feeling guilt, grief, lonliness, anger, and yet such love, hope, and happiness ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

Imagine finding out through the internet that there are so many families that have experienced the same thing--and finally not feeling so ALONE!

Thank you to all who have shared their experiences--it has helped me more than anything else!

Chrissy--mom to Korey Alexander Carlson, 23-weeker born April 16, 2001